Food is for fun until they are one/vomit!

One word for you….. WEANING! Everyone thinks “this will be fun” or my favourite “We will all be like mother earth and puree only vegetables grown in my garden”.By the way I take my hat off to you if you have the time, patience and passion to do that…I cant actually keep a sunflower alive, so wasn’t going to try a vegetable patch, that is too much responsibility for me. In my case, I was actually not looking forward to the weaning process…it seemed like a lot of faff and tears both mine (burnt my hand on a steamer) and the babies. Why? because the babies do not understand why they are being placed in a white chair of plastic and fed mush…they have only ever known that milk was how they were fed.

What people don’t tell you is that the vomit will be stinky, vile and do not on any given puree/weaning day for your sanity wear white.
You will probably (if you haven’t done so already) get the white IKEA high chair, because its cheap and you can just wipe it clean with ease (so they say). Buy all your spoons, bowls, bibs, ice cube trays etc and start a Sunday of prepping for the weeks ahead of pureed mush (this was me). That is unless you decide to do baby lead weaning or as the cool kids call it “#BLW” Once, when this # was sent to me I thought someone had fed their child a Bacon Lettuce and Whatever sandwich…then they explained it….still personally scares me, so I give some finger foods alongside a puree to incorporate the two.

So, there I was giving my child some broccoli as finger food (lovingly steamed) and some cauliflower puree. There was gagging, and a lot of projectile vom on to the carpet, across the high chair table, in the seat, all over the baby and more importantly my naked foot!! I kid you not this was like something from the exorcist as I had never seen so much puke being sprayed about from such a small person! I then also wanted to vomit, I literally did not know where to start, I grabbed a carrier bag and some kitchen roll and started to try and clean the tray, whilst my child was sitting in chair going about their day as if this was completely acceptable, whilst trying to eat the regurgitated broccoli mid sobs because I kept removing it from their little hands…so I now also had the addition of puke soaked broccoli in my hand and crying snot to contend with. I gave up pulled the child out of the high chair, stripped them and threw their clothes in to the washing machine. Picked up the now white, green and orange high chair and took it outside to clean down. Vanished the carpet and more importantly my foot! I then started all over on again with lunch. The IKEA chair is known as the “white chair of doom in my house”


The white chair of doom!

Following my now mentally scarred experience, I swiftly purchased a high chair floor protector…lets not kid ourselves its just a bit of laminate you put under the high chair to protect your carpet if you do not have room in your kitchen to feed your child. p.s. you can get it from Amazon Prime which lets be honest Amazon Prime parents will be essential to our survival as stuff arrives the next day and we don’t have to dash to the shops if we don’t want to (me)/are having a tough day (me)/ cant be bothered to get dressed (also me) High Chair Floor Protector

Some useful (maybe not) tips:

I got a lot of my items to commence weaning as add-ons from Amazon Prime as well, which makes it cheaper. It made it easier getting everything delivered on one day.

You do not need to purchase a tommee tippee all in one steamer blender, you can steam and mash, or steam and blender/ nutribullet or boil whatever you need to. I also purchased the following items:

* 2 ice cube trays with lids – the trays were rubber because I find it easier to twist the trays to get the cubes out and do not have the patience to fight an ice cube tray once everything is frozen Ice Cube Trays
*Sandwich bags to put frozen cubes once frozen. I labelled up the bags with what was in them as Carrot and Sweet Potato do actually look the same.
*weaning spoons – Any you like
*Bib – I actually went with a rubber tommee tippee one. My child hates it, so we now just strip to her nappy and clean her afterwards
*Lunch bag cheapest I could find, so we could do the weaning joy anywhere…and inflict the food tantrums on the general public…naturally there are unicorns…Unicorn Bag
*drink cup – We went through several, just pick which ever one your child will drink out of.

One thing to mention…all babies do a gagging face on pureed carrot. I have absolutely no idea why, they just do…maybe its the texture?!!?! Either way, it makes me want to vom whenever the gagging noise is made.

Do not ever beat yourself up, start thinking you are a bad parent because you find yourself down the pre pured aisle picking up sachets…I’ve already done it…one of my cupboards is dedicated to pre made sachets. Often if you sign up to HIPP, or Ella’s Kitchen they do give you discount vouchers, or in some cases free sachets. (everyone loves a freebie!)

Finally, do have fun/experiment with it. Our kids are experiencing something completely new, it is meant to be fun whilst they learn how to eat solids. Some days they will want to eat loads, other days they may not. Some days I fancy a fry up, others just a bowl of cereal, babies are the same they just may or may not vomit before/during/afterwards.

Be the best dressed with your boob out

As I mentioned in my first post. Nursing clothes with easy access majority of the times can cost an arm and a leg to purchase, when in reality all we want to be able to do is pop an boob out to feed our children.  This can become more pricey when it comes to wedding / christening / summer event season and you have a large variety of friends, family and age ranges that could potentially gawk at your boob when you are not 100% comfortable with it occurring, but need to feed your child. Further more if its an event you want to look and feel good about yourself and not like Homer Simpson wearing a moomoo. Like I did throughout my pregnancy I was sadly often mistaken for carrying more than one baby and someone actually had the cheek to call me chubster. I hid my once gym honed body in the equivalent of a tent for the majority of my pregnancy if I actually had to venture outside at any point.

I was most excited to be invited to a Christening last month. The thought of going out even in day time made me want to step out of the sloth gear and make an effort with myself whilst also being able to still feed my baby if required. So, I started to research a dress that didn’t cost the earth, because the maternity pay pennies would only stretch so far and I found one to my amazement in Boohoo that doesn’t have an easy access flap!! (The crowd cheers) The dress made me feel really good about myself, the straps were stretchy enough that I could pop my boobs out as and when required. Put a muslin under the strap of the dress and place my child underneath it for a little privacy.

Link to the dress: BooHoo Faye Floral

Boohoo do regular discounts on clothing, and 99% of the time some form of free delivery. I found the dress true to size and I do have curves *cough a mum tum which I found the dress also helped to conceal.

Now, one question we all have is…what over the shoulder boulder holder do we wear with a dress like this one. In this situation you have 3 options.

(1) Your normal nursing bra with the straps on display, and just place a jacket over the top of the dress. Such as a Blazer, I tried this one from Boohoo, BooHoo Blazer currently priced at £10. It comes in a number of colours, as I went for an alternative type bra I didn’t need to wear any blazer for this specific event.

(2) Alternative bra – Strapless one that you can roll down to pop your boob out. I searched for quite a while for a bra like this, and whilst it does not have underwire I found that it kept my boobs up. There is currently £10 off in Debenhams for this bra. I do however, recommend that you use the wonder bra website to ensure you get the correct measurements. Wonderbra

(3) Zilch – If you are fortunate enough to not have to for half a day, then just don’t wear anything underneath the dress, just let them hang lose. If you don’t need the support then for comfort don’t wear anything for the event you are going to.

For a day I did honestly feel like a queen in my dress and I fed my child with ease. I most certainly will be wearing this dress again soon. I got a lot of compliments on the dress whilst I was there and also afterwards which gave me a boost of confidence.

I will add more clothes as and when I find them over the coming weeks.


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Not like the other Mums….

So, why oh why have I decided to join the hoards of other Parents in the Blogsphere, whats my USP? Nervously will anyone ever actually read it? I am dyslexic, therefore my spelling and grammar will at no point be perfect. I also have a huge habit of writing like I am talking to someone over a glass of wine. I am drinking a large glass of wine whilst typing, dutch courage an all that jazz….Anyway, I digress…….so why am I actually doing this?

Well….in short, it’s an outlet. I will openly admit that I am potentially one of the most laziest parents around, that I love my mini human with all my heart. But, I have struggled to connect with the majority of parents who I find in a similar situation. Unless I actually do like you, I have friends who I adore and I do care about. However, I don’t really care about the colour of other parents darlings poop, or what they have eaten that day…I really generally, honestly don’t give a s@*t I would much rather gauge my eye out with a rusty spoon than I would listen to parents harp on about whether their off spring has rolled, clapped, eaten or if their babies blinking is some sort of extra sign of intelligence because they believe that their baby is trying to communicate with them or become the next bloody Mozart because they clapped once!! Just in case you are unsure, no they are not trying to communicate with you they are actually just blinking.

I personally feel that parents sometimes take it all a bit too seriously and don’t just sit with their child interact one on one, or just plain cuddle them. My view is my baby will not want to sit on my lap and have a cuddle when they are 18. So I take every opportunity I can to sit and just watch Netflix or surf Facebook whilst holding my baby. In my book Happy Parent = Happy Mini Human!

I had a brain before a baby, and I have a brain still be it at times unable to multi task like the dream machine it once was. But it is still there and I think that using this as an outlet could be fun….even if I am actually going to be the only person who reads it.

I plan to write about the following:

  • Any normal clothing that doesn’t cost an arm, leg or kidney to purchase because it is not specifically made for nursing . Also any clothing that I think may come in handy to hide the areas we don’t like post pregnancy.  I will share with you. Along with discount codes etc if I find any… I am on maternity leave I love to shop on a budget you never know it could come in handy!
  • Lazy parenting hacks….any tips or tricks I have picked up along the way to get my little darling to sleep when I needed them to or how to not get bogged down thinking you need to do certain things when in reality you really don’t have to.
  • Highlight the kitchen sink load of stuff that you do/don’t need to take to hospital when the time comes, 90% of the stuff you have and potentially won’t need…that is unless you like it and just want to take it along for giggles and kicks
  • I do breastfeed my child (I wont ram this down your throat, anyway you feed your child is actually the RIGHT way)
  • Where and how to save money for things you might be interested in….or not!
  • Generally write stuff down even if it’s a whinge / whine whilst drinking wine to vent about my day….

I suppose I should write that Legal bit you know where this view is of my own and not anyone else’s….its an opinion that may not always be the right one blah blah blah..Not that anyone will read this.

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